The Mammy is the very first episode of the BBC comedy series Mrs Brown's Boys. It was first broadcast on BBC One on Monday 21st February 2011.
Dermot and Maria have split up, because Dermot does not want to look at houses with Maria. Winnie talks about sex and vibrators. Cathy and Agnes stage a fake fight to get Dermot and Maria back together. By the end of the episode, they are engaged!
There is bad news as Dermot and Maria break up after a row about whether to move in with Maria. Cathy is on her way to the pub to meet a date. Later in Foley's Bar Winnie is talking about vibrators and saying to Cathy her date was a disaster.
Then they have a catashtrophic counselling session with Dermot and Maria and Cathy tries to put the relationship back on track, however Mrs Brown keeps saying stuff to put-off the others. Then Cathy gets fed up and storms out. Mrs Brown leaves the room. Maria says "I feel much better" and Dermot agrees. He then proposes and Maria accepts. They then go to Foley's to spread the good news. After that Agnes and Cathy laugh off their little argument and Agnes gives Cathy Teddy Branigon's (Cathy's first boyfriend) mobile number. Cathy is grateful and they make up.
- Lukeman as Agnes Brown
- Dermot O' Neill as Grandad
- Paddy Houlihan as Dermot Brown
- Fiona O' Carroll as Maria Nicholson
- Ellish O' Carroll as Winnie McGoogan
- Jennifer Gibney as Cathy Brown
- Amanda Woods as Betty Brown
- Derek Reddin as Dr. Flynn
For copyright reasons, in the DVD release, the scene where Agnes sings "Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday" is edited out.
The original version of this episode, entitled Dermot's Dilemma, basically followed the same storyline with some changes, most notably the inclusion of Sharon McGoogan (played by Marion O'Dwyer) in the place of Betty Brown. It is featured on the Series One DVD release.
- Agnes: (talking about cleaning) It's not as if it goes unnoticed. I had a local preist, Father Quinn, round the other day. He took one look at the house and he said, "Mrs. Brown, yourself and God keep a lovely home". I said, "Thank you, Father", but I'm thinking "You should see it when God has it on His own". I feel like I've always been cleaning. When I was eighteen I married his (Grandad) son, Redser Brown, because of a condition I had called pregnancy. The next day I started cleaning.
- Agnes: I'm not just a cleaner. I have a market stall as well. I sell fruit and vegetables. Suppose I'm a businesswoman. I don't like customers who come and just poke. They come over and maul your fruit without any feckin' reason whatsoever. I say to them "Missus, thats a banana, not a willy. It won't get bigger if you squeeze it".
- Agnes: (after Dermot walks past in a penguin costume) There goes Happy Feet.
- Agnes: Why are you such a sad little penguin? You're not in trouble with the law again are you?
Dermot: No Mammy. It's Maria.
Agnes: Ah, the lovely Maria.
Dermot: We've broken up.
Agnes: Bitch! I never liked her!
- Agnes: (about Dr. Flynn) You've heard of Doctor Doolittle. There goes Doctor Do Fuck All!
- Agnes: (after Cathy warns her not to interfere in Dermot and Maria's problems) I want to be involved. I want to be a leader, Cathy, I want to be like your man in Iran, "Mock Mood Momamma Jibidi Get it Back Up Again".
- Agnes: You are my business! I'm ... your mother!
Agnes: It's a man in a fuckin' dress.
- Agnes: (Winnie is talking about getting a vibrator) Make sure to get one that takes Diesel.
- Agnes: Winnie. stop that fecking dirty talk! (pushes Winnie off her chair)
- Cathy: Mammy, I really enjoyed those few drinks we had last night.
Agnes: You had enough of them.
Cathy: Yeah, one more vodka and I'd have been under that table.
Agnes: One more pint of cider and I'd have been under that fuckin' barman.
Betty: You wouldn't, would you, Mrs Brown?
Agnes: Don't be ridiculous, Betty. It's so long since I had sex I can't even remember who it is that gets tied up.
- Agnes: (after an argument with Cathy) If Jesus Christ appears to me and asks me to sacrifice a child, she's fuckin' gone!